Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
