Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
