After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
