so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
