Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
