Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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