I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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