At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
