Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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