Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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