Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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