I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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