Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
