So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
