That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
