Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We are all done wearing pants today
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
