All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
