Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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