I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
