Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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