Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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