Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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