i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My penis needs a shock collar
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
