He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
