I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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