im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
