i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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