U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
