I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
did i just pee glitter
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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