watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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