Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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