when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
