God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
