I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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