Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
