He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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