I smell stomach acid.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
