I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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