arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
His nipple licking is glorious
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