i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
