I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
