You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
