And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
