my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
