But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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