I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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