I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
