Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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