I am in a vortex of obligation.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
