u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What a dumb baby whore.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
