Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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