i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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