and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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