; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
