My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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