I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Moan for me like Helen Keller
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
