this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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