The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
