no, he came in my armpit
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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