i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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