I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize