$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
