the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
True college students do jello shots in the library
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
