You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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